Soylent Dander


All those of you who are allergic to dogs and cats may perhaps take some satisfaction, some minor balancing of the scales in return for your sneezing and sniffles:

Our dog is allergic to people.

Serum testing has revealed that over the past year he has developed allergies to many and various things, including dog food, sycamore trees, and, I’m fairly certain, digital rights management — but mostly, top of the list, he is vastly allergic to people.

Emily gets a little teary about it every time he licks us, now.

We are to begin injecting him with a serum composed of a highly concentrated form of everything he is allergic to, in the hopes that this will bludgeon his immune system into admitting that, okay, maybe these aren’t so awful after all. Apparently this works 95% of the time. So it’s all good.

But mostly this makes me wonder: how do they make people serum? Is it… made of people?